Having a Hard Time
by flamingwaffle86
Summary: Izuku hasnt been happy for the longest time. Maybe its time to move on.


He was a mess. When he wasn't on his bed looking at the ceiling for hours on end he was distracting himself with anything possible which usually ended up being training. His body was already a good enough vessel for One for All but he couldn't bring himself to tone his training down at all. On certain days if thought he deserved he would overdo it on purpose. Under the guise of 'I'm still getting used to the power within me' he would use too much of One for All breaking his body in the process. He would still keep in mind of his deteriorating arms. Opting to use his legs instead. During the last leg of the school year he would have Recovery Girl heal his almost self inflicted injuries to which she would tell him 'Don't overdo it or you'll have to retire as a hero early'. He would always reply with something that would ease her worry. Though he didn't mean it. Now that it was the summer he would tone down the misuse but not stop it. His classmates might have seen his actions and might worry about him but they never brought it up. Knowing the source of his pain they let him mourn and mourn he did. Certain days he would shut himself in his room just to let his emotions out. Crying all of his pent up tears, taking his anger out on a punching bag be bought for just that reason, or on a rare occasion listen to music. The notion of listening to music isn't anything crazy but the song he would blare in his ears was theirs and now its only his and it destroyed him. Sometimes someone would come to his room to try and get him to do something with them. Most of the time he would say no, but certain days he would feel up to it and have a good time. Well as much fun as his emotions would allow him. Kirishima convinced him to go out to for a day out downtown to do something that he neglected to remember. Kirishima probably wanted to help him move on which was thoughtful but while he was out that day he only saw her. He appreciated the effort but it did nothing to alleviate his now constant mood. On this day he got a call from All Might. Picking up his phone with a loose grip and trying to take the sadness out of his voice.

"H-Hello All Might."

"Young Midoriya it is good to hear from you! If you wouldn't mind I'd like to meet up talk to you about this situation you're in."

"Yeah sure."

"Great! I will be at the beach where you started your training but I would understand totally if you didnt show. Anyway I'll see you when you get here!" All Might hung up and Midoriya set his phone down beside him. He didn't want to go at all but he had a duty to become a hero. Though he didn't want to admit it deep down he knew he would have to stop this emotional rollercoaster he had been on for months. Getting up he grabbed a random jacket, zipped it up, and walked as sneakily as he could out of the dorm though he wasn't so lucky.

"Midoriya! It's been awhile. It's great to see you!" He turned around to look at his friend. Only at this point did he realize how bad he probably looked. Thinking about he hasn't been taking too much care of himself other than taking showers and stuff like usual.

"Hi Iida."

"Are you feeling well? Getting enough sleep?"

"Yeah im feeling good. Just, you know, going outside for uh a jog?"

"Getting some for some fresh is a good idea. I hope your run is an excellent one." Midoriya quickly walked out the doors. Running at a light pace to where All Might wanted to meet. After a few minutes he arrived to find his mentor not there yet so he decided to sit at one of the benches near the beach and quickly got lost in his thoughts. Thoughts of her and what happened. He just wouldn't let it go and he will probably never let it go. He didn't realize it but he started tearing up not realizing when All Might in his small might form sat down next to him.

"It's never easy getting over ones we've lost. I know how it feels but I'll never try to imagine how you feel as of now. I can only hope that your life can move forward as it once did. You have UA to get through as well as getting prepared for being a pro hero in a couple years. So please, Young Midoriya, please try to live as you once did and I will try my hardest to help you along the way." Izuku has not talked about what happened with anybody. He was the only one that knew exactly what happened except for one or two pros and he was ashamed. He hated himself. He hated the villains of the world. It was hard to say what he wanted to but he did it anyway in an almost whisper.

"But All Might it was my fault. I let it happen to her. I can't forgive myself for that. I don't know if you can understand what that's like but for me its unbearable. Living isn't easy and I hate it but I can't bring myself to do anything about it. I'm still trying my hardest to become a hero but how can I become a hero when I let her die."

Izuku was the happiest he had ever been. He was growing as a hero, making One for All his own. His school work was a breeze to get through and to top it all off the girl he had liked since the beginning of coming to UA, Kyoka Jiro, had liked him too! They had been going out for almost a year and there was nothing that could bring him down from his eternal high that he was in. It happened that on this day Jiro and him had been on an outing together like usual but today was different. They were in one of their favorite places, a local cafe that they shared their first kiss at it was a special place for them. Chatting away with bright smiles a commotion started inside of the place. What seemed to be a new robber of some sorts had stood up holding what seemed to be his quirk inside of his hoodie pocket, hiding it from our view. He was yelling for people to stay in their seats while frantically telling the cashier lady to empty the cash register. His quirk seemed to be some sort of transformation power. The hand that was free seemed to turn into a knife, a dangerous weapon but nothing the two heroes in training couldnt handle. They both knew that it was against the rules to use their quirks in public but they couldn't stand by and watch a civilian get hurt while they waited for the Pros to arrive. They stood up quickly getting the perpetrators attention.

"You two, w-what are you doing? Sit back down! I-I don't want to hurt anybody."

He leaned over to Kyoka to tell her of his plans. " He doesn't seem to be anything dangerous just stay behind me and I'll take care of it. We just have to make sure no one gets hurt and stall him until a pro arrives." She nodded and gave him a smile.

"Sounds like a plan, babe." Most of the people inside ran out during some of the commotion leaving only the two heroes in training and a couple civilians. The robber was still yelling at the cashier lady while the other people were cowering in a corner behind a table.

"Surrender yourself now and you won't get hurt. A pro will be here any second I advise you to as I say." The man frantically looked between the two students before responding.

"H-Hey screw you kid sit back down or else you're going to get hurt." Hey stuck the knife hand in Midoriya's direction to which he was unfazed. He was about to respond when the windows behind them broke revealing Kamui Woods who quickly stretched out wood to restrain the armed robber. Feeling that the event was coming to an end Jiro tuned away and Izuku powered up to 10% to get the civilians to a safer place but he didn't know that the robber was getting too nervous and seeing him start glowing and sparkling with a bit of electricity put him over the edge. It was such a simple thing that could've been avoided. A bang followed by a scream. There was a gun hidden inside his hoodie pocket fired on accident. The robber brought it for intimidation not even remembering loading it. Izuku barely registered that a projectile was coming in his direction before it hit its target. It landed in the back of his girlfriend. Immediately he lunged forward to catch her limp body before she hit the ground. They both landed on the ground with her in his arms with a gowing pool of blood around her. Kamui Woods finished restraining the thug and started on getting the civilians to a safer location or a hospital if needed not before calling Recovery Girl to come as quick as she could. Izuku didn't notice any of that happen though. He was holding the love of his life in his arms while she was dying.

"You're going to be alright Kyoka. It didn't hit anywhere serious. I-"

"Stop it Izuku. I know its bad. I can't even feel it you know but I can feel you right now, only you, so please stay with me."

"I will."

"Thank you." She tried her best to snuggle closer to him. Wincing as she found a comfortable spot she looked back into his eyes, lifting her hand to cup his cheek. Midoriya raised his hand to hold hers.

"What is it?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. I always have. I love you so much." He couldn't stop the tears as he started crying as hard as he could. He hugged his girlfriends lifeless body crying harder than he ever thought he could. It started raining as his heart was broken into millions of pieces. He was broken. Kamui Woods and Recovery Girl could only watch as the future Symbol of Peace was reduced to an emotional mess but they understood. They let him mourn for a little longer until they approached him needing to bring her to an ambulance. As Kamui kneeled down in front of Izuku he looked at him frantically with a scared look in his eyes. He didn't want to let her go. He couldn't lose her. He couldn't let go. Realizing that the hero in front of him only wanted to help he loosened his grip to which Kamui grabbed her and carried her over to waiting paramedics. Not wanting to be there anymore he activated 10% again and ran out of the cafe and up a building and kept jumping between them. Putting as much distance as he could from the truth. Later he was brought into the police station to id the criminal and to answer questions about what happened. Even though the police officer told him about using his powers in public but he couldnt feel. He was almost numb. School was quiet when he came back. For the last couple months Kyoka and him were open about their relationship. Everyone had heard what had happened and even though they tried to console Izuku he still felt the same, or he didnt feel at all. He passed his tests and turned in his homework but all enthusiasm had left him. The desire to become a hero had stayed with him. It could never leave him like his love for Jiro would never leave him.

"I appreciate you confiding in me. I am sorry about what had happened but maybe you should change why you want to become a hero. You wanted to become to the number one hero to protect everyone, right? Maybe its time to fight for yourself Young Midoriya." All Might stood up and turned to Midoriya. "I hope that you can be happy again. I truly believe that you can restore yourself from this and become stronger from it." He walked away from the boy leaving him alone. At that moment he smiled. His first smile since that day. He thought that maybe he did need to change his reason for being a hero. Multiple times he had thought of taking his own life to go be with the one he had loved and lost. He realized that living and fighting for her was more ideal. He stood up with a determined look finding new meaning in life. 'Ill fight for her and to prevent anyone from losing like I did. He was happy because she had been with him the entire time either of it was in spirit or somehow she was still alive through him. He ran to All Might with a new look on life wanting to train and become a hero even more than before.

 **This was an idea that I had that I quickly wrote, by quickly I mean staying up until 4 am to finish this. If theres anything wrong please tell me! I hope you liked this story!**


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